Sunday, January 22, 2017

Different Worlds


I realize I've discussed this subject before, but seeing as our country is under new leadership, I feel it’s important to share again.  


I have a number of friends on Facebook, and many of those friends fall on the opposite side of the political spectrum than I do.  Maybe you've seen some of the lively debates we've had.  :-)  That being said, I maintain my relationships with friends from all political stripes because I believe informed debate is important and friends are important.


The reason for this post is to pose a question to my white fathers out there, and maybe for some of the white mothers, those of you with sons.  My question is, and you don't have to answer in a reply, but I hope you will take it to heart and really think about it.  My question is, how many times have you sat your son down and had an honest and heartfelt  discussion on exactly how they should act when they are confronted by the police; with a primary goal of hoping your words will save that son’s life? Not a "always be respectful to police" discussion, but a step-by-step how to act discussion?  The second part of my question is how many nights have you laid in bed, awake, waiting for your son to return home late at night?  Late at night from work, or a party with friends, with your biggest fear “not” being that they were attacked by a criminal, or that they had an auto accident, but that they were pulled over by the police and possibly injured or killed?  Take your time, and just count the conversations.

For me, the answer on the discussions is probably around 10 or 12, with 5 or 6 being longer drawn out conversations meant to really stick; these are the conversations I remember having with my dad.  As for the second part of my question, the answer is too great to count.  There’s nothing that puts me to sleep faster than hearing that back door slam shut with no drama to speak of. Zzzzzz.

While many of my friends and I may feel like we are from different worlds politically, there’s no question that we're from different worlds practically.  You see, I’m a black man, and I have a black son.  That means, here in America, regardless of economic status, social status, upbringing, political affiliation or specific actions, my son has a 250% greater chance of being shot by the police than your son.  Yes, 250%. Recent videos  have shown that this is the case regardless of whether someone like my son is following the instructions of the police, is unarmed or is saying “yes sir” 20 plus times during the interaction.  In my conversations with my son I, specifically, have to tell him that he was not born with the luxury to act the way his young white friends might act towards the police because it might get him killed.  My son doesn't get to tell the police what his rights are, or reach for his wallet before it has been clearly communicated, on both sides and multiple times, that that is what he is doing.

This is not a rant against the police.  My dad spent 25 years serving the public as an LA County Sheriff’s Deputy in Los Angeles and I have many friends in law enforcement; I could not be more proud.  This is a plea that we tone down the rhetoric, stop the violence on both sides, and hopefully increase the training to bring that 250% number down.  My hope is that we spend a minute in each other's shoes. Our new President speaks often of Law and Order, but he speaks nothing of the Justice that our "law and order" is supposed to be based on.  

I’m hopeful things will improve, but I can’t remain silent and just hope for change to come; too many lives are at stake.  After all, your little boy will always be your little boy, no matter how tall or old they get, hopefully this is a challenge we can all work on together over the next few years.